He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
