thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
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a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
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I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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