he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize