I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize