I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
I fill condoms, not promises.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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