I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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