We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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