Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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