that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
