Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Randomize