Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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