You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
His hands were made for my vagina.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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