I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
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