Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
