You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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