Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize