So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Randomize
