I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize