I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
