I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
