i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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