I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Randomize
