He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize