peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
