i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
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We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
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Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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