I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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