Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize