Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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