There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize