come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
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For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
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Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
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