You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
