Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I want a musical about memes.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize