I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
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