he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
