if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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