It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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