They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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