if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
