it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
