I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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