is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Randomize
