I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize