Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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