I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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