Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
i was born a porn star she said
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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