conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
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I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
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He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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