she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
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