Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
