hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
