there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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