I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Congratulations! We have a period
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