K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
