and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i will never coherently bang her
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
