i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
