Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
