i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
