you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize