Kiss
Puke
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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