so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
