she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
